Apropos of Nothing-Blog Feature
I wanted to share a humorous site with you called The Apropos of Nothing. I contacted its author, and he kindly agreed to let me share a little of his work with you. In his own words, he is: ” Just throwing my thoughts out there and seeing what sticks to the wall.” Here is one of my favorite posts. Enjoy!
Thoughts That Haunt Me
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”.. but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Does Mary Had a Little Lamb and London Bridge is falling down have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Again?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you,but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Do penguins have knees?
Do dead people wear underwear?
Why do bugs fall on their backs when they die?
“Happy Santa Embryo”
Ok, so this will either brighten your day and make you giggle, or it will make you a little queesy. I can’t decide yet what side of the fence I’m on.
This is an actual embryo ornament sold here on etsy. It can be yours for only $6.50! Here is part of the actual description,
“This little embryo is waiting for Santa with his Santa hat and candy cane.
He glows a little because I mixed glow in the dark clay with the flesh color.”
I mean, who wouldn’t want a glowing embryo hanging on their tree!
Update! The Happy Santa Embryo is now offically SOLD OUT!
Unbelievable!